It’s funny how all of a sudden I have a desire to write. I never have before. In school I thought I might want to be an editor but my research didn’t show it to be very profitable, at least not where I lived. I kept those interests to myself. Okay, I shared (annoyed actually) them with my friends that passed me notes between classes.
Lately I find myself getting more and more frustrated with things. LOTS of things. The biggest one though is the way people respond to one of my sons. I have a beautiful blended family with 4 sons, ages 34, 19, 5 and 10 months. A couple months ago our 5 year old was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Most people have heard of ADHD but most have not heard of Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
To say my son can be a handful is an understatement. He can take naughty to all new levels. My husband and I often pass on invitations to do things with others because so few people understand him and even less stick around through his tantrums. People are quick to judge. We hear that we are too lenient, he’s a brat, he needs more structure or tough love. What needs to happen is people need to realize that this IS a disorder. You think you get frustrated when he acts up? We live it 24/7. And him. What about my son? He has an internal battle going on that no one could possibly understand. Sometimes he will break down and cry and tell us that he doesn’t know why he is being naughty and that he wants to stop but can’t. He knows what he is doing is wrong but he can’t get control of what’s going on inside him. Can you imagine how that feels? At age 5? As a parent? This is my baby! My flesh and blood. My little angel. God created him perfectly to be who he was meant to be!
As parents we are not raising a little boy. We don’t consider it our primary duty to keep him spotless, silent around adults and quietly obedient. While that would often be nice, we have more important battles. We are raising a boy to be a man. A strong-willed child gets in trouble. A strong-willed adult can go far.
My boy is definitely a fighter. His disorder prevents him from quietly giving in to authority even when he fully realizes it is in his best interest to do so. This is nearly impossible for most adults to understand or accept, but if you stick around long enough you will see that he loves even more fiercly than he fights. He’s an unknown super-hero and deep love and sincere affection are his super powers!
Sorry about all the background noise, mamma bear has been sharpening her claws for a while now. Hopefully writing will help me keep them put away!